I used to be a real stickler for time. My heart would race, and I would be short-tempered with my husband if I thought we would be late for an appointment. I also believed that people who showed up late for an appointment or meeting with me exhibited the most profound form of disrespect.
Rewind to my childhood. My mum would leave for work in the early morning hours when it was still dark out. She would set the alarm clock for me so I would wake in time to shower, get dressed and walk to my cousin's house so she could do my hair before school.
When the alarm would bling, my heart would race. 'It's go time!'
I was eight years old. I could tell the time, but I didn't really grasp just how long it took to take a shower and get ready. Therefore, the alarm clock followed me to the shower and the kitchen while I packed my bag. Then I would check the time and recheck it for good measure before bolting out the door and running to my cousin's house just in case the last thing I needed to do by myself would be my failure without my trusted alarm clock by my side.
Learning this was the origin of my frustrations and sympathetic fight/flight state around being on time was incredibly insightful. I could understand better and work on what was happening in my body in the present day.
Time and time again, I watch people's bodies give them the answers to their own questions, release old trauma and build resilience to become unstuck and begin to engage in life fully. It always comes back to the body. The answers are inside of you when you know how to listen. Let's walk through some of the deeply held wisdom it holds.
1 - Your body is your best source of information
It has approximately 10 million sensory neurons, all collecting information about our internal and external environments. 20% of our vagus nerve fibres (efferent) send information from our brain to our body (mental/thinking), whilst a massive 80% of nerve fibres (afferent) send information from our body up to our brain (somatic/feeling). This is why your body is your best information source; It's a feeling machine!
2 - Your body has a unique somatic language
Your body will find a way to get your attention for the work needed to heal. It will let you know if you have an allergy by developing a rash, itchy, watery eyes or sneezing. Just as it will let you know you are carrying stored survival stress, aka trauma, maybe in the form of tightness or constriction in the throat or belly. The sole purpose of your body is survival, so if you continue to experience physical manifestations of this in the body or repeat the same patterns over and over, it's a sign that it's time to look at it a little deeper and begin to learn its unique language.
“In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.” – Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma
3 - Your body is a sponge
Before you were a logical adult, you were a perceptive little learning sponge, and your body is a prominent place where that learning occurred and where you began to absorb teachings from your caretakers, communities, the media, teachers and more.
These experiences become part of you in ways you can't directly perceive. As a child, If you had emotionally unavailable caretakers, or perhaps your needs weren't met, your parents divorced, or you lost a parent to illness. As an adult, your inner child communicates these memories through body sensations. When you have a feeling in the present moment that doesn’t match the current situation, look back into your past. Did you ever feel this way as a child? This feeling or sensation is how your inner child gets your attention and highlights the past experience you still carry with you and how it affects your everyday choices.
The good news is that even though you're now a logical adult carrying these deep wounds from childhood, we all can show our inner child some tender loving care to provide these parts of ourselves the safety and support that wasn't there before but can be now so you can move towards the life you desire instead of away from it.
4 - Your body likes to go slow
The slower we go, the faster we heal. Contrary to popular belief, release, transformation and integration naturally occur when we stop trying to force change and practice allowing things to be as they are. Somatics is a bottom-up approach, so we begin with how it feels in the body, and the why/what behind it comes second. Meeting these emotions and sensations with patience, understanding, and curiosity is most important.
Often, the stuckness is due to our nervous system not feeling safe with this type of emotional energy because it wasn't safe in the past. Expanding your capacity to handle difficult emotions and stress must be approached in stages. Your nervous system has been protecting you from them for a long time, so building a foundation of safety, support, and regulation is crucial before tackling more challenging areas.
Once you're comfortable managing stress and your body is much more regulated, you can gradually expose your system to increased levels of stressors in a controlled way. With patience and persistence, you will gradually expand your nervous system's resilience, which means you can handle a broader range of emotions and situations without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down.
Are you struck with curiosity?
If this strikes a chord with you, I invite you to think about your physical manifestations in the body and what experiences you find difficult. And if you want to learn more, I'm always accepting new individual clients who are ready to dive into the deep.
Your healing journey is unique and very personal. To take the extra step to invite someone in for additional support can be daunting and cause difficult emotions to arise. You want to make sure that person is right for you. Let's Chat
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